Children's Museum

Simon and Mommy had an outing to the museum today.  I feel like I haven't been around much so I wanted to treat him. We went to the toddler area and he had a blast.  He went down the slide over and over.  The poor other kids had to fight him for the one real ball.  I tried to hid it a few times because he kept trying to go up and down stairs while holding it.  He kept finding it, though.  He played in the cars, ball pits, with the lite brite, and whatnot.  But mostly he loved the slide and the ball and whatever someone else had. 

We went outside on the deck where they have a bunch of cars and tikes to ride.  He tried most of them out but still really only has reverse.  Still, it was nice to not have to mess with the IV.  Then we went out to the water play area.  He's still about half a foot too short to really be able to do everything but had great fun running and splashing in every bit of water he could find.  We saw some baby chicks in the shed and he played in the sand getting it everywhere.

Then it was time for lunch.  We split a small cheese pizza.  For some reason they have no high chairs so I had to fight to keep him from running off.  When we were leaving we discovered it's Chinese New Year because they had music and dragons.  He thought they were very cool until they got up close to him.

Night Terrors

It would appear that Simon has night terrors.  I can't remember the first time he had one but it must have been over the summer.  He had maybe one a month until the past two months.  They're absolutely no fun.  In case you've never experienced one, this is kind of how they go, at least for Simon.  Sometime around 9 or 10 he'll wake up crying.  It's hard to tell if he's having one until I go pick him up.  I can't really distinguish these cries from regular crying.  I pick him up and he's rigid and won't calm down at all.  I try to shush him and he screams even worse by then.  So then I bring him out to the living room in the light and can see his eyes are slightly open but he's not focused on anything and doesn't really seem to be awake.  He'll writhe and twist on my lap while I try to reassure him that mama's here and everything is okay.  What we have found works best to get him to come to is turning on Yo Gabba Gabba. Eventually he'll quiet down and then fall back asleep. 

It seems to happen when he's overtired.  With our schedules he doesn't get to nap properly the days we both go to work and it's far enough from my brother and sister-in-law's house that he falls asleep semi-frequently on the way home.  That seems to make it worse.  We get home late so it's pretty much wake him up out of the car seat and fight with a screaming boy to get him in his jammies and maybe a bottle before putting him to bed.  So now we do what we can to keep him awake on the ride home.  I'm not sure if it has anything to do with the trauma of what he went through last year.  I'm sure that doesn't help.  I sure hope he outgrows this soon.  It's hard on everyone and even though they say kids don't remember them, it sure looks like it's hell for him.

Eyelashes

My boy has eyelashes.  Real eyelashes.  And eyebrows.  And hair.  Hair you don't have to zoom in to see.  It's still pretty sparse and short, but it's there.  He's looking less and less like a cancer patient.  It's kind of hard to remember the life we lived for so many months.   I tried the other day to get pictures of him but they don't do it justice.  Still, they're pictures of my handsome boy.  And by the way, he's been transitioned out of his high chair to a booster seat.  Now, if only we could get him off the baba.  Unfortunately he will not drink milk from any sort of cup, just from a bottle.  Have I mentioned he's odd?  But I seriously love his personality.  We make faces at each other and he couldn't be more adorable and eager to play along.  He has such a passion for life.  I think I'm the proudest mama ever.

Yeah, he's odd.

Playing

Sunday we all got together at my in-laws house.  Simon loves to run around their back yard.  Yesterday he got to do it with all his cousins.  It was really emotional for me to watch.  It always does my heart good to see him running around outside.  He really loves doing that.  But watching him do it with his cousins was a whole new experience.  He seems so big to me, but seeing him with them he looked so small.  He tried so hard to keep up with them but just couldn't and didn't seem to mind a bit.  It didn't matter how many times he fell down, he kept getting right back up again to join in the fun.  He's been fairly secluded from people and other kids that just being in their midst was serious joy.  One of the older kids would slow down and help him along from time to time which really warmed my heart.  And when the biggest cousin picked Simon up so he could look over the fence to see the DOG! on the other side, that was really freaking awesome. 

I was also emotional because I spent a great deal of time watching him from in the house.  It was the first time he really seemed to be "on his own" at all.  I don't know how to explain it, but I feel like I got a little preview of what it will be like to send him off to school where he won't have his mommy right next to him.  I really hope then that he'll just be one of the fellas.  He looked so vulnerable, just like he'll be in kindergarten.  The kids better be nice to him.  I can't think of a reason why they wouldn't, but kids don't need a reason.  I never fit in at school.  I know what that pain can be.  But as bad as it was, I think it would be a hundred times worse to see it happen to Simon.

Part of why I was so emotional may also have been because he went to Nursery for the first time yesterday.  We walked in and the kids were all at a table playing with playdough.  I helped him to a seat and kneeled next to him as I tried to explain that if another kid is using a thing he can't just take it.  I got a tub of dough for him and helped him try to share and play.  We didn't stay but 10 minutes, but watching him sit there with his new pals just made him feel so big.  Someday excruciatingly soon his world is going to be bigger than Mommy and Daddy and I wouldn't want for anything else, but it all seems so fast.  His world has been so small for so long it's a real shell-shock for me.

I wish I could have gotten some pictures of him playing outside yesterday.  I was too busy just soaking it all up.  I did get one not great picture on my phone.  But I know I'll never forget how he looked just running trying to be one of the fellas.